What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why am I so afraid that gun owners have set traps to kill me outside my house or my car?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

My parents force me (15yo atheist) to go to church, and there’s this thing called Small Sundays where we discuss the Bible in groups, there are questions asked about the Bible. What am I supposed to do when they ask?

What! how could you do that?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

True - how I loved my mum!

Is it possible for humans to determine their past life as an animal? Is there a scientific method to prove this?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why are Democrats at Q so desperate that they keep taking down my links to comments that prove the residents in Ohio have been filing complaints about the Haitians eating the local wildlife from ponds in the local parks? Election interference

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?

Why is (n-1)(n+1)=n^2-1?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”